Childhood is a significant period in our lives. During these formative years we learn to build trust, learn to regulate our emotions, develop a sense of self, and create relationships. As children we crave to be seen—to know that our caregivers witness and attune to our needs, feelings, and truest selves. To feel we matter for who we are, more than what we achieve, our appearance or behavior, or how productive we are. If this was missing during our early years, it sets into motion an unconscious longing to be seen and understood—often presenting in ways that were effective in getting our needs met in childhood. Which tends to create adults who perform, achieve, and/or strive for perfection. This attempt to be validated often leaves us feeling misunderstood, disconnected, and wanting more because the validation is about what we can offer, not about being seen authentically for who we are.

Relational trauma often ruptures the safety and security of our attachments. This may look like a caregiver who was frequently unpredictable, unavailable, inconsistent, abusive, or neglectful. Most of us have experienced situations that shake our understanding of the world and overwhelm our ability to cope. When we do not have a safe space or secure attachment figure to process and integrate these experiences with, they can become “stuck”— often impacting our sense of self, the way in which we view and interact with the world, and our ability to regulate our nervous system. 

Do you find yourself…

So focused on caring for others or worried about their perceptions of you that you struggle to identify, express, and meet your needs and wants.

Struggling to show up authentically in your relationships, which often leads to feeling isolated, unsatisfied, and/or misunderstood.

Avoiding your emotions because they can feel overwhelming and out of control or may be perceived as “too much”.

Blaming and shaming yourself for mistakes or past choices.

Always on the go, feeling urgent, looking to accomplish the long to do list, and struggling to relax because it’s not deemed “productive”.

Feeling not good enough, unworthy of positive things, or questioning if you’re “lovable” at times. 

Are you ready to…

Understand the relational and behavioral patterns that are keeping you stuck.

Learn to release inherited expectations and limiting beliefs. 

Hold healthy boundaries that will protect you, your well-being, and strengthen your relationships.

Attune to your wants and needs and feel proud of how you are showing up in relationships.

Learn ways to manage, feel, and regulate your emotions.

Gain confidence, learn to trust yourself, and foster a deeper understanding of who you are.

When painful emotions around such experiences go unaddressed, they often find other, sometimes damaging, ways of making themselves known. Telling your story can allow you to stand empowered in your experiences. You deserve to be seen, heard, and understood. Change is possible.